The Zodiac Signs As Serial Killers

hausoftruecrime:

Aries - Seduces you. Blunt force trauma. Exhibits their victims. Cries when caught

Taurus - Stalks you after you break up with them. Poison. Feeds bodies to pigs. Finds Christ in jail.

Gemini - Con artist. Giggles when they stick the knife in. Hates blood. Taunts the cops and then gets caught.

Cancer - ‘Angel of Death’ type. Plays music while they torture you. Visits graves. Creates shrines to their victims.

Leo - Wants to become famous. Kills flamboyantly. Hides bodies in the attic. Screams “thats me!” when sees their crimes in the news.

Virgo - Looks sweet but has a scalpel in their sleeve. Keeps body parts in china cabinets. Mommy issues. Smiles in their mugshots.

Libra - Copies other people’s crimes. Whistles while being led to the gas chamber. Foot fetishes. Likes guns.

Scorpio - Killer grin. Loves playing psychological games with their victims. Falls asleep during trial. Keeps a scrapbook of their crimes.

Sagittarius - Roams for victims. Drives a shitty car. Loves strangulation. Takes a bite out of you.

Capricorn - Hammers and screwdrivers. Married but their partner has no idea. Has a torture chamber. Keeps trophies in a little box under the floorboards.

Aquarius - Likes to make homemade bombs. Maniacal laugh. Caught because they cant help but brag. Has Hitler’s speeches on tape.

Pisces - Worst killer of all. Simply snaps one day and goes beserk. Pleads insane. Keeps cyanide pills in a fancy locket around their necks.